RE: Put the glass down.
That loop you describe is exhausting. It’s like a song you never chose to listen to but can’t switch off. What helps me (and maybe it’ll help you) is to treat the thought like a visitor: notice it, give it a name, then gently show it the door instead of arguing with it.
I feel that everyone carries a private battlefield no one else fully sees. If only we could remember that more often, maybe we’d all be gentler with each other.
Subconscious, well, it's a bitch... pretending everything’s fine only buries the feeling deeper. Sometimes the gentlest way through is to feel it in small, safe doses.. maybe, I'm not sure though.
There’s no official “hell,” only the private ones we carry - well it does make sense. And again, it makes me want to be kinder to people I meet, because any of us could be carrying a pocket of that pain. I’m really sorry you’re going through this; I understand, and I hear you the same way you heard me.
Is there a song that we could have chosen ourselves at some point in this life? I personally don't have one.😅(That's why I'm still mad at all those lying spiritual teachers who assure you that you should and can only wish for things.)
There are thoughts that cannot be treated as a visitor. At least I can't, it's too painful. But there is another thing I can do and do - I wait for time to pass. Even that is difficult, but I know that the pain is not eternal, the power of this thought, whatever it is, whatever gave rise to it, is not eternal either. And now, almost two weeks after the incident, the intensity has decreased quite a bit, nothing has disappeared, whatever happened, happened, but things have somehow settled down, accepted, the thought doesn't come back intrusively over and over again, doesn't knock on the door over and over again, insisting on entering my mind to harass me.
So, this is my method - to give myself time, because I know from personal experience that nothing that bothers me now will bother me in a month or a year or five years (I will be bothered by other things for sure, but not by today's things)😆
Now that you say it, I’m actually wondering how my favorite songs ever became my favorites… were they really mine, or just choices I picked up because they were already playing around me? 🤔 You’ve given me something worth pondering.
And yes, they say time is the best healer. It’s not exactly new, but somehow it’s the only thing that keeps proving itself right. Maybe it’s not that time erases anything, it just softens the sharp edges, makes the same thought less intrusive, less loud. Almost like turning down the volume of that song we never asked for. Hehe
In a way, I think what you’re doing, giving yourself time and letting things settle, is also a choice, just a quieter one. Not about wishing for things, but about allowing life to carry you to a place where the weight feels lighter.