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RE: Random melancholy. Sunshine lovers needn't look. If you tell me to cheer up I will fling my air hair at you.
As Cher famously once said in a movie, "Snap out of it!" I know, I know, but I had to say it anyway...
I understand your anxiety, I've been down that road and it's not fun, not even a little bit!
Oh, by the way, if you're only pretending to be a musician, you're doing a damn fine job of pretending.