Your current situation and character is what your spouse should be looking at

I think that if you are having thoughts about your past experiences and you are not sharing them then you are not allowing your partner to fully see your current situation. Someone who truly loves you will want to explore the landscape of your thoughts. Sometimes what gets communicated creates tensions but it is the power of love to overcome those emotional reactions and grow together compassionately. Hiding these thoughts that arise can potentially be alienating and toxic for a relationship and also for your own mental health. These are some of my thoughts. x basil