It was a good story, but I feel like if you spend time to check on the grammatical errors, it would really make it better. It's a shame if people don't read this because of the grammatical error and typos, as I discovered is a real thing here. As someone who doesn't use English as a first language as well, I know the struggle when it comes to translating your work. But, once you get the hang of it, I know that more and more people would come and flock to your work. It was a nice story after all :D