RE: Late Sunday Musings: So It’s 2018, How Has Your Life Turned Out?
My story is very, very similar to yours @denmarkguy except, apart form the usual adolescent angst, I really enjoyed school.
Like you, though I am not in touch with anyone from those days, nor even from my university days.
I have always had a group of really good friends where ever I've been and whatever I've done but as I've moved on in situation so I've moved on in friendships.
My life has turned out nothing like I expected.
I pretty much had/had done everything I wanted by the time I was thirty and struggled with depression after that, for a couple of decades on and off.
I spent way too much time and money on personal development, never found a career I enjoyed and, like you, have ended up working for myself most of the latter part of my life. Probably not as successfully as you though! 😁
when I have been asked what I wanted to "do" with my life, the inner answer I often thought, but seldom spoke, was "be at peace."
This is so true of me too although I spoke it out loud. Nowadays I think it's probably true of everyone whether they know it or not.
The biggest surprise for me, and one I wasn't expecting or particularly looking for was how much joy having a family has brought and continues to bring to me.
That's one of the things that wasn't on my agenda. I wasn't bothered either way. But it had turned out to be the most important and fulfilling of all the things I've done or been a part of.
I have never short of love from friends or family so I count myself as one of the truly lucky ones in life. With that, anything is manageable. 😊
I'll add to my own that I was always very introverted and so having a lot of friends was never all that important to me; circumstantially my life also turned out that way due to constant long-distance geographical moves when I was a kid.
As for "personal development," that I can definitely relate to! In many ways, I seem to have gone about things "backwards." As I have watched people around me, it seemed like they would build lives and careers, success and a healthy bank account... and then suddenly realize that they needed to find deeper meaning in their lives, and would go "seeking" in their 40's and 50's.
I thought I needed to fully understand the meaning of life and my place in it before I could possibly go forth into the world and be "successful" at anything. But in doing so, I came to the realization that most of the people who had "gone forth and tried to conquer" actually weren't very happy with the outcome.
In my late 30's, I really embraced the idea that I was a Human BE-ing, not a Human DO-ing, or a Human HAVE-ing.
This set off a new sort of struggle, as I came to have a better understanding of how the world (at large) pretty much isn't designed for those who don't want to "produce" and "consume" as a way of life.
Hmmm... I think there's actually a post hiding in here somewhere....!