My beautiful sister! You are one of the strongest women i know. I love you, and am glad you are sharing how many of us have felt at some point in our life. I was at a sweat lodge many years ago, and an elder once said to me. Be careful what you wish for. I was going to go in, asking for strength. Strength to be the parent i needed to be, strength to get through my days. He then said to me, " Creator will send you many things to make you strong. Are you sure you want that? ?" Uh.NO. I went in asking for wisdom and understanding. That has really stuck with me over the years. Been a very useful tool to help me navigate through many hard times in my life. Faith and hope. I am here to help you up off the floor, if that is where you end up...lol xoxo
It felt good to write this and to be able to finally put it into words.
I think I would have asked for strength as well but I would crumble under the lessons if I am this fragile. Maybe energy would be a better choice for me and like you said, wisdom.
I cannot let myself hit the floor, be on the bottom. I have too many that count on me. And that I think there puts a lot of pressure already. But that means I have to learn to let some things go, and create more of a balance. I just need to see clearly.
I love you too @earthmother xxx