RE: Living with Mindfulness: Responding vs Reacting
The ironic thing is that a lot of people who seem "reactive" are actually responding to a memory, or to something in their past-- not at all to the current situation.
Excellent Eye-Opener article @denmarkguy
That bit I quoted above is fundamental to understand an awful lot of things. I suspect, I am one of those on the reacting team more than anything also. But then, I'm afraid, the ones into the lineup of "but I can't HELP it!" are indeed a shocking crowded majority anyway.
However, I think we actually need to be very aware about the following:
"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply"
Therefore, I still wonder ¿Which would be the best way to 'react' when someone is asking & awaiting for your reply ¡Right Away! in the course of a conversation?
Because in this case, we also should be very aware about this bit below:
"It takes 3-6 seconds for silence to become awkward"
Good post mate. Upvoted & Resteemed!! :)
Thanks for your comment and resteem! Glad you got something useful from the article.
Learning to truly listen is surprisingly difficult. We think we know how, but much of the time I also catch myself in what you shared: "listen with the intent to reply."
When people are trying to "rush" me for a response (or "provoke a reaction") I tend to come back to them with something along the lines of "That's a really good/interesting question!" as a means to slow down the pace of the dialogue until I can think through what I want to respond with. If people aren't willing to wait for that, then maybe I am best off not saying anything at all.
That's indeed a very wise and zen strategy @denmarkguy, which I'm still not so sure if it would be so effective in the middle of a true boiling conversation in front of a demanding interlocutor always reluctant to exchange shoes with us to see the things from a different perspective and yet insisting on quick replies & instant enlightenment. Hehehe
But since I'm kind of a curious daredevil experimentalist, I guess I will give to your recommendation a try. :)