Time flies and memories remain
Today it's 10 years to my mother-in-law passing away. We stayed together for 20 years so we had developed a deep bond with each other. To be honest not all the times it was peaceful between us, there were many times when we had our differences, especially in the last few years of her life. No one can be blamed for that. I was also very immature in many areas and she was dealing with her own old age issues. But nevertheless, we had lot of love for each other. I had grown up away from home and without a mother, so when I got married it was all very new for me to handle.
I got married also very early by the age of 21. Did not have much of sense of how to manage a home, and she was the one who taught me everything. Today when I see myself as a person, I believe that I have somewhat become like her in many ways. I manage my home just the way she did. She taught me discipline, though in those early years of marriage I did not like it, but today I realize the importance of it. I had never lived in a home environment, I was like a wild animal, and she brought order in to my life. When you are very young you are rebellious and that's how even I was, and she took good care of me. I am what I am and where I am in life today only because of her.
She taught me to be ambitious, because she was one, but then the problem started when I became over ambitious and started neglecting my responsibilities at home, which I accept was entirely my fault. She also loved travelling and somewhere the travelling madness in me I got it from her. She was a very kind lady always wanted to help others. She did a lot of charity and that also I picked up from her. I can so proudly say that I picked up a lot of her good qualities. The only problem she had was she would easily get into talks, and there were some people in our family who could not see our relationship going well, so on an off they would fill her ears with some garb against me, and sometimes she would get carried away with it, which would become a problem between us.
Without her, my life would have been chaotic. She took care of my son at home while I was on the job, she took care of the home, managed cooking and day to day home care. I practically had no home responsibility except for taking care of my son while I was home and taking care of his education. Where home responsibilities were concerned, she was on it all the time, and that allowed me to do my job with ease. She liked to gossip, evening when I would return from work, I would sit with her for some time and she would tell me all the stories of people around. To be honest, I miss her a lot, more than my own mother taking care of me, she did take care of me. She was a special lady in my life, a very loving soul. If we have to take birth again, I would want her to be my real mother. Even with all the challenges between us in our relationship, I could not think of leaving her and settling separately with hubby.
But then hubby got a job opportunity in Oman, it was a very good opportunity which we considered to take up. We did bring her along with us for couple of months, but she was not happy and she wanted to go back home, we respected her decision. But after she went, she did not live long, she passed away in 9 months. She had chronic kidney issue, and was on dialysis for a long time. Somewhere I felt, after we moved out, she lost the will to live and gave up on life and that also somewhere makes me feel responsible for the end of her life. I do not know if it was the right decision we made or not. I do feel sad about it all the time.
She does come in my dream often with loving energies and that makes me feel that she is in a better place now and her love and blessings are always with me and family. She was very attached to my son, because she took lot of care of him in his growing up. I am so glad that my Son had such a loving and caring grandmother. He too has very fond memories of her. Wherever she travelled she took him along, and she pampered him a lot. One thing I blame her for is she spoilt him by making him believe that he was always meant to get the best. Even as a grown-up man now, my son believes that he is always supposed to get what he wants and the best. When he fails it becomes difficult for him to cope up. Anyways that's his learning areas now.
I can go on and on with her, after all I spent 20 years living with her. In the end all I can say is she was a very kind and noble soul and I am grateful she was a part of my life. She gave me a big learning curve and shaped me. Life has never been the same after her, I do miss her a lot and wish she stayed longer with me. Wherever she is, she finds her peace and progresses in her world.
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