RE: What Do You Expect?
if I say no, I feel like an asshole, or even responsible for their suffering, because I knew I could put an end to it.
My friend I believe this to be a delusion (dunno if maniacal or not, but it's one that seems to be, but isn't what it seems to be) - just as no one can put an end to my suffering (except for ME), I cannot put an end to the suffering of anyone else. For me to think so is over-responsibility. If I give myself a hard time over it, it smacks of control. Sure I can provide temporary relief - but I don't think that is the same thing and I need to be careful that I am not simply keeping them in their patterns by humouring them. If both parties feel lower after the event, then what's the point?
When someone is aware and notices my need and takes a step to help me meet that need, I am grateful. I have spent years of my life sulking and feeling shit that nobody notices or seems to give a fuck...really bothered me until I started to realise that I didn't actually really give much of a fuck about myself, and began to change that in a non-violent manner.
Exactly, and this is usually how it ends. An argument, placing blame, not understanding each others perspective. Yes, it's definitely delusional, and taker's live in their own delusion too! IMO
I feel like we have some similarities sometimes barge. It could certainly be me, creating my own narrative with your words, but I don't think so. It doesn't take you long to compose your thoughts in an organized way with this topic, which leads me to believe you've spent a great deal of time thinking about this already, with your own life, or at least, similar situations, and/or physical/psychological responses. I'm pretty hard on myself at times. I will have to not give as much of a fuck. I think that is a viable solution, for now anyways.