I could write a whole post in the comments about this... I have 4 bio and 2 step.. 2 of my bio have severe mental disabilities (bipolar / schizo and ASD / bipolar).. A lot does have to do with genetics...

On the first example my sons mentor pointed out that all the kids seem to be too attached.. they come to me for everything and I mean everything.. She said it was because I did give them too much affection and needed to let them be independent.. funny part is.. i never even from birth let my babies sleep with me in the bed.. as soon as they started sleeping thru the night (about 2 months) they went to their own room... my kids at 4 and 5 knew how to do simple tasks such as making a sandwich do the dishes etc.. i am probably one of the few parents who lets my kids run the neighborhood and be kids...

I may get poop for this but my step kids mom is a bad mom.. yes she feeds them but they are picky eaters (7 and 10 yo) they only eat pizza chicken nuggets and lunchables.. she doesnt make them eat anything else these girls have never had a hamburger or a taco and when i tried they threw a fit.. the mom feels like she has to be in competition with me and purposely spoils the girls when she cant afford to really.. and the oldest steals my kids stuff and moms solution is to go buy her it instead of punishing her.. that is bad parenting...

But my kids are little devils.. i tell them to go play they whine.. my son is 13 and steals (i mean big time like even breaking into houses...) He has a mental disability it is not because i didnt let him choose...