Yes, it does make more sense and I do know what you mean about the fragmentation and the community is vast and broad, but in that spread a depth is lost. At the same time, I have had the pleasure of encountering souls like you who are thinking/exploring deeply and that has been a source of refreshment for me as many I encounter in day to day aren't willing/able or doing the same.
When I was a little girl, my mother would drop me off all day at a skating rink. I begged to go and even though I was maybe 6-8 years old, by myself. There was always a big girl there (maybe they were different each time), but someone older who was skating fast and fantastically around the rink. I'd set my eyes on her and try to copy the way her feet moved, usually crashing on the curves, but getting up over and over again in a persistent effort of emulation. In some way, you seem that big girl on the rink, or like me, we are both determined to be better skaters--not better gardeners or bowlers, or golfers, but are particularly interested in the skating. Maybe, poor analogies, but I think you'll get my point. We seem on the same trajectory of spirit.
Like you, I don't know that I'll be here forever, or devote as much time as I have my own ideas of research/work in the works and would like to start offering more to my literal community by way of what I've learned and coming to discover. Not even sure how I ended up on Steemit? I sort of just stumbled on it after getting interested in crypto world after a woman at a dream workshop started going off about it all in humanitarian terms rather than a way to get wealthy. That is why I came. I haven't even spent the time researching all of how the system of earning or sharing works here beyond reading and writing and I guess I don't care to spend the time figuring it out. Maybe, it'd be better if I did and grew enough that more than you and a couple of robots were responding to my posts, but maybe not?
There is great elegance in your acceptance of karma and a rule above the importance bestowed by society. I am just coming to that and even wiping the slate clean as far as paid employment which greatly hinders my efforts, I find I barely have enough time, am always busy and how to explain to others? I just don't try anymore.
Oh, how I fear becoming the cat lady in the attic, or doing what I'm told because I'll never be that person. I keep on trying in the relational realm.
Do you remember that British comedy, Butterflies? I used to watch it as a young mother in my twenties and I'm not sure why I found it so fascinating at that age, but I did. The actress is probably around our age now and has two teen son's living at home. Her life is a huge bustle while husband and kids are around, her making sure they're fed, have clean clothes and then during the day she wanders around daydreaming.
Good book to write, titled, Cat Lady in the Attic. A compilation of stories of women of mature age and their thoughts on spiritual pursuits/purpose (Jungian attic).
Now, I am back upstairs to paint the trim.