First: I read the title as "I'm short two jackasses". Don't ask me why, but thats what I thought it said. I would have been willing to offer myself as one of those jackasses if you needed.

Second: Have my two cents. A little bit of support to get you closer to those two Jacksons(sadly not jackasses). After fees and all, its barely a Lincoln(the cheaper one) but hey, it's something.