Building Stronger Relationship Through Humility
In the world we find ourselves today, pride has almost become the order of the day. Sometimes this can be masked as confidence, but in the real sense, it is built on arrogance and on over-inflated ego. That is, people thinking too much of themselves with the feeling of "do you know who am I?" With the way pride and self-proclamation is becoming increased, humiliating has remained a very vital and powerful virtue. Just to let you know; humility is not timidity, and it is also not thinking less of yourself, rather it is about thinking of others alongside your own self. In a relationship, you have to understand that, as much as you think of yourself, you also have to think of your partner and understand that they matter too.
Humility is the vital building-block that is required to build the bridge of respect in a relationship. When you are humble and when you approach people with humility, you will create a safe space for them to feel valued. Just to let you know; there are some favours that you may not get based on qualifications or based on proving that it is your right, but you can easily get it on the platform of humility. In fact, people tend to favour people who they perceive as being humble and meek. This does not mean that you should lie down on the floor and allow everyone to step on you, but it means that you value others as much as you value yourself.
Anytime you begin to feel that you are better than someone else or that you hold value than everyone else, then you are beginning to be proud. Humility is not a function of what you have, but it stems from the heart. Someone can be poor and still be very proud, yet someone can be wealthy and still be meek. How you treat your partner will show if you have respect for them, and will also show if you are humble. If you constantly compare yourself with them, or if you are not teachable, or you feel you are always right, or that you should come first before them, then you do not need anyone to tell you that you are not humble.
It is worthy to note that humility is a very fundamental requirement of humanity. More so, humility is not measured by how you treat or relate with the people who are above you - like your boss, your supervisor, your leader, etc, but it is actually measured on how you treat the people who you perceive to be at the same or lower level than you. If your partner does not show humility towards the gateman who might even be as old as their father, or the chef, or the garden, then they are not humble. All these small details matter when going into relationship. This is because part of the things that sustain a healthy relationship is humility.
A friend of mine once shared what he experienced with his ex. She was a PhD student who came from a very privileged family. This made her arrogant and very proud, which should not be. Everytime, she would be reminding him how she is better than him because he has only a B.Sc and was not from a privileged background. Even when she wanted to correct him, it would be with disdain. Maybe she was seeing him as her student than her partner. When he could not take it anymore, he went his way. In a relationship, you do not have make your partner feel inferior or that you are better than them.
Humility does not make you weak, rather it actually shows strength. Humility also has a way of teaching one forgiveness. Someone who is pride will not apologise but will claim right, but if you see someone who is quick to apologise and will learn and be teachable, you will see someone who is humble; that is someone who values their relationship more than their personal ego. It is true that you are not perfect and that you can make mistakes or errors, but you have to apologise when wrong, and learn from your mistakes. Always have in mind that humility is the glue that holds respect, love, and trust together.
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