Goodmorning!

Lately I have been feeling old and out of shape. I lose my breath easily. I ache and have trouble bending to pick things up. When, in the past, I was in marathon shape. I've been wondering how I've gotten to this state when I use to live to train. I loved to train. But now the idea gives me anxiety. Being out of breath, legs burning, puking at times. These are the strongest memories I have of running. I do have good memories. The "runner's high", feeling like a workout was easy, and just feeling on top of the world. Those are the better feelings. So why do I let the negative memories win out? I can't feel the runner's high again without the work. I can't feel the steady stability in my mind and body that I felt before if I don't do the sweating, the burning, the work.

So, I've come to the conviction that I don't want to feel this way anymore. That not being able to pick something up off of the floor is worse than sweating, burning, working and...I went for a jog! Gasp. Cries. Gnashing of teeth. Why? Because I did something that I didn't want to do in order to get what I want. Because who wants to wake up early and go for a jog? No one. Well, mostly no one. But I forced myself to do it because it will lead to something that I do want...a more fulfilling and healthy life.

It turns out that you can't have one without the other. We live in a world of people who want something for nothing. Who are afraid of the work. I don't want to be one of those people. I don't want to miss out on everything there is out there. Everything that is worth having requires work because its that work that makes the magic of the end product. We wouldn't want it if it wasn't so wonderful and it will never be wonderful without the work. I believe that doing the work and showing up for yourself is how we build self-confidence, independence, and happiness. So I'm hoping I find the strength to continue.

As usual I was rewarded for pushing through the fear and laziness today with an early morning friend and some beautiful views that I share with you today.