Co-parenting, A 21st-Century Challenge

Steem greetings, guys from the motherland of Cameroon, and welcome to my blog for another master piece titled "Co-parenting, a 21st Century Challenge". Over the years, I have been handling cases of child neglect and child abuse, and most of the cases are because of bad parenting. After handling one such case today, I decided to write this post, and I hope it's worth your time to read through.

Coparenting is a collaborative effort of raising a child or more by individuals who are no longer in a romantic relationship.
In the 21st century, the concept of family has undergone significant changes, with an alarming rate of divorce cases, traditional nuclear families are no longer the sole norm, and the coming in of non-traditional parenting structures at a rise, coparenting has become more common and has witnessed compounded vulnerabilities to the child. The primary goal of co-parenting is to ensure the child's well-being. It might sound easy, but rest assured that challenges often arise when parents are unwilling to set aside their selfish interests.

One of the major issues with coparenting in this century is poor communication. We are living in a digital era where texts, emails, and social media have replaced face-to-face interactions, and misunderstandings can easily arise when coparents misinterpret the text. Coparents may already carry emotional trauma from their past relationship, making communication difficult to flow while coparenting. Notwithstanding, coparenting can only work successfully if there is open, respectful, and consistent dialogue.

Another issue with coparenting is a lack of consistency. Children succeed on routine and predictability, yet coparenting often involves two separate households with different rules, values, and lifestyles. One parent might be stricter about bedtime routines, while the other is more relaxed and gives less attention to bedtime routines and gives more screen time. These inconsistencies can confuse children and cause tension between parents. Effective coparenting requires negotiation and compromise to ensure that children receive consistent messages about expectations, discipline, and support.

Also, emotional boundaries are a serious challenge in coparenting. Parents need to separate their personal feelings about each other from their shared responsibility to their child. This is a challenging situation in cases where infidelity, custody battles, or financial issues are a cause for concern. Looking back on statistics about children's welfare in the cases I have worked with, it indicates that children can only do better emotionally and psychologically when parents can cooperatively work together, even after separation. Emotional maturity and the ability to focus on the child’s needs over personal grievances are important to note.

Copearenting has also been impacted by society’s changing attitudes toward gender roles and values. In the past, mothers' role in the upbringing of the child was as the primary caregiver, while fathers' major role was secondary. In present-day society, more fathers are seeking equal involvement in their children’s lives, and gender roles in parenting are becoming more complicated. It has caused tension between coparenting parents if one parent feels threatened or undervalued. Coparenting in present-day society needs to allow room for flexible roles and mutual respect.

Another major challenge is that legal and logistical issues can further add pressure to the parents, and the children suffer. Our courts most often emphasise shared custody, but as parents, navigating legal systems, arranging schedules, and balancing work commitments can be challenging. For instance, in cases where parents live in different geographical regions of the world and need to travel couple with cultural differences further led to compound vulnerabilities to the child's well-being.

However, successful coparenting is entirely achievable if both parents are committed, communicate fluently without emotional blackmail, and have a genuine desire to put the child's interest first. Nonetheless, support systems such as counselling, mediation, and parent education programs can play an important role in helping coparents work through conflict and develop a cooperative relationship.

In sum, coparenting in the 21st century has opened our understanding of how we define family in present-day society. It has shown us that coparents need to be resilient, flexible, and have emotional intelligence to thrive through their journey of coparenting in peace. When coparents respect these roles, it shows children that love, respect, and responsibility go beyond relationship status and that they are supported by a team, no matter the situation they find themselves in.