He Built the Dream, They Watched It Die

Last weekend, I was a little bit free from work. I decided to go chill with my dad at his place. You know as they grow older and have nowhere to go to, they seem to crave for more attention. Let me not lie, It was fun hanging out with him and catching up on old times. He was complaining how we, his children hardly come to pay him visit and always using work as an excuse all the time.

I told him, if we don’t work, all those money we send to him won’t be possible. He just laughed over it but he ended up telling me that everything is not about money. To be sincere, i didn’t think he’ll feel his kids absence now that he has remarried but it seems I guessed wrong.

During one of those quiet moments, we’d a reflective conversation that will always stick to my memory. There is this building close to our house that use to be a big electronic shopping complex. It use to be the talk of the town many years ago because there is no electronics you’re looking for, that you wouldn’t find there.

I knew the owner and my dad were friends because I do see my dad with him when the building was still in construction.

So, I asked my dad after him and he broke the news to me that he is late now and the place has been sold off.

My dad began explaining to me, the ordeal the man had to pass through before he finally completed the building. As a young man, the business man was settled by his boss to go establish himself after working under him for 15 years. He managed to build himself up, till he became successful and decided to build a big electronic shopping complex.

Before achieving this great feat, the man really went through a lot.

According to him, The business man, used to sit with me at the balcony almost all the time watching as construction was going on in his site. Sometimes, he will eat only biscuits the whole day because that was the only thing he could afford after paying his workers their daily wages.

The man denied himself of good food, hardly changed his clothes and was forced to lived extremely frugally, denying himself the good things of life just to complete this building. He just managed life, day by day, pouring in his time, energy, money and everything he has, just to achieve his goal and alas it was a success.

Unfortunately, he didn’t live long enough to enjoy he fruit of his labor.

As if that’s not bad enough, his wife and kids who were never around during the days of his struggle, took over the property, mismanaged the whole business and in a space of one year, the whole business came crumbling. They started selling the electronics at a giveaway price, so that they could manage to see food to eat. The building has now been sold out to someone else and it’s been demolished down.

Then my dad asked a question, knowing what I know now about this business man and all the efforts he has put in to build this electronic shopping complex and how it all ended, if you were in his shoes, what would you have done differently?

“What’s the point of living life entirely for others?”

Those questions struck a blow.

Well, I understand that my dad’s question wasn’t just about the businessman but he was also trying to rope me into the story about how we sometimes forget that those who love us don’t just want our money, they want our time and attention as well. So, I planned to do better and also relate it as well to my siblings.

Now, to the questions he raised, if I was in the businessman’s shoes.

To be honest, what I would do differently is to carry my family along during the construction of the project. Who knows, If they had witnessed how much their dad sacrificed and starved himself just to erect his dream structure, maybe, they would have taken it more seriously. Because success that’s not shared in the process, often becomes success that’s not valued in the end.

Secondly, I would take every moment to enjoy my life because I was just imagining the business man in the afterlife with his hands on the jaw asking himself what is the point leaving a legacy no one understands enough to protect?

Bottom line is this;

Since we only have one life to live, we can live for others but not entirely. Love them, but don’t lose yourself. Provide for them, but don’t disappear from their lives.