Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 105: Things I Can't Do For Love

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1. What do you understand by the word Love?

When I hear the word love the first thing that come inside my mind is warmth. Not the kind from fire but the type you can’t hold with hands. Love to me is like breathing, you don’t plan it but you feel it moving inside. Sometimes I think love is easy, but other times it heavy like stone you can’t push away. People say Amor vincit omnia which means love conquer all, and I believe part of that is true because even when anger stand tall, love somehow still bend it down.

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I don’t see love only in man and woman thing, no. Love is also in the way mother hold her child, in the way friend wait for you even when you late, in the way stranger smile at you in bus. That’s love too. It don’t always shout, sometimes it whisper. It can hurt as well, because when you open heart you also open chance for pain. Still, even with the hurt, I think life empty without it. Amor, "love" is like food for soul, no matter how much you try to ignore it, body still crave.

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2. Have you ever loved anybody, if yes why?

Yes, I have. More than once actually. It wasn’t because they was perfect. Nobody is. I loved them because I felt alive with them, even in small moments like walking slow or sitting quiet. It was like my heart didn’t need permission, it just go on and choose them. Cor ad cor loquitur—heart speaks to heart—that phrase explain exactly how it felt.

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Sometimes I ask myself why I even love when love can break you. But the answer simple: because it worth it. When I was with that person, the world seem peaceful and quiet, almost like the air itself was lighter to breathe. I don’t think there is a reason to measure love, because reason can’t explain why you choose one face out of thousands faces on this earth. But I know I loved because my soul felt at home and at peace, like candle flame dancing in dark-quiet room.

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3. What are the lines you will never cross for the sake of love?

Love strong but it not supposed to destroy who I am. There some limits in me, some borders I won’t cross even if the heart pull me. One is truth. Veritas is the Latin word for truth, and without it love become like a house built on sand, sooner or later it fall down. I won’t lie for love. I won’t hurt innocent people just because of feelings.

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Another line is respect. I can’t let love push me to where I forget my own dignity. If someone should ask me to lose myself so that they can shine over me, then that’s not love at all, that’s control. Love should lift, not chain one down. And also, I will not harm myself or break laws of kindness because of love. That kind of love is poison and I don’t drink poison no matter how sweet the cup look, love should be vice versa.

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4. How best do you think love for others can be expressed without hurting other people's feelings?

The way love show itself matter a lot. Sometimes we think love is only in big gestures, but really the quiet things carry more weight. Just listening when somebody talk, or waiting when they not ready, or smiling even when you tired—those are signs too. If you want to love people and not hurt them, you must carry respectus, respect. Without respect, even the sweetest love start to sting.

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I think love is best expressed by giving space when needed. Not every moment require your words. Silence can be love too, because silence show patience. And love that grow from patience don’t choke the other person. Caritas is another Latin word, meaning selfless love, and that is the type that never injure hearts. Caritas is gentle, it give without asking, it hold without squeezing.

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We should also remember boundaries. People have limits and when we ignore them, even if we say it’s because of love, it turn into harm. So love must walk with wisdom, like candle protected by glass so the flame burn bright but never burn down the house.

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Love to me is the strongest yet softest thing in the world. It makes the hard places of life smooth. It can bring healing, it can also bring tears. But no matter how much pain it sometimes carry, I would rather live with love than without it. For me, Amor "love" is not just word, it is life itself.

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I invite @promisezella @etoro @imohmitch to participate in this contest

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Cc,
@steem4nigeria

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