RE: The Manuscripts - Drop in the Ocean – Circumstance
I've had some voting power troubles as I was unknowingly part of a curation trail so I apologize for the late read, comment, and upvote.
Definitely an intriguing tale. Not sure if the ending was supposed to be somewhat of a cliffhanger or not. Well, not really a cliffhanger, but rather an ending that wasn't completely spelled out for the reader.
I found this sentence interesting...
"Perhaps you’re confusing us with one of our other hotel locations that you’ve recently stayed in at some point in your travels.”
Specifically, the last word, "travels", as it (intentionally?) seems to possibly suggest time travel. I thought it was an extremely subtle touch.
Admittedly, your stories can be a little out there and hard to keep up with for me, but that doesn't mean that is a bad thing. It is usually a challenge, but I walk away feeling better about knowing I read through it. Good job!
P.S. - I felt like bits and pieces of this were from your real life
I am knowingly part of a curation trail and now that I've joined phc, I have upvotes I must make every day, so I've been having some VP control issues as well. :) I've brought my vote percentage down on the curation trail, and may have to bring it down a little more to keep up, so I know where you're coming from.
Yes in this story, even more than the others, I did want to leave a more solid hint there could be more to this story coming in the future. If there is, I'll need to find out if anyone's done a story with a plot similar to this, of course, (about modern English found in ancient writings). I do like the potential it has for a longer story, and maybe even an adventure/mystery-type series with Russ as the main character.
On the front desk's statement, without giving too much away, I'll point out that Russ exhibits some knowledge about time travel in the story, and has already had an experience, (the dream, when he walks back to the past), so hints he may experience it going forward, or has had experiences in the "past" as part of the story, are intended to give the reader more to ponder along those lines. Overall, in the story time travel is major, and is as indispensable to the plot as "the words."
I also made a conscious attempt to spice things up a little, by being a bit more descriptive of what's going on in the story. Do you see any progress there?
On time travel, I think it may be possible, but only to the past. To me, the thought that time travel to a future that doesn't yet exist may be possible, just isn't logical. But who knows, as the fabric of space/time, they say, can do all sorts of weird things. I don't have an interest in the occult, and I'm not clairvoyant, although I did read a biography of Edgar Cayce, the "Sleeping Prophet" many years ago. But no, there's nothing in this story that's reflective of my life. This one is all fiction.
I thought you were descriptive, but had an occasional instance in which you used a word that forced me to look up the definition. It can be tough to find that fine line that is descriptive, but still down-to-Earth. I think you are possibly a bit more well-versed in the reading of and presentation of information due to your Spigot that it may take a good while to break down those walls and enable you to have a better flow with a reader at least as you are writing stories.
I will say, similar to how my baseball posts re-ignited your interest in baseball if even minimally, you have certainly encouraged me to want to write more stories. Time will tell if I get on with doing so.
Thanks for the great feedback. I get where you're coming from, and I really don't intend to make things hard on the reader, but when I think about it, one of the things I loved about reading books at a young age was seeing a word that I had to look up.
Ian Fleming's James Bond, 007 series of novels were the rage when my interest in reading was blooming, and I've always looked at the experience of reading those novels as being so valuable in increasing my vocabulary, (and possibly my level of sophistication, haha). It was pretty tough reading to understand, and this was a time when blue laws were still in effect in most, if not all of America, so most adults then couldn't tell you what was meant either.
But, there are likely times when I unknowingly use a word that could be broken down to an easier to understand association. I'll try to be more conscious of that.
*Blue laws = Nothing was open on Sunday except churches. !tipuvote .1
That's true. Reading in itself probably should increase one's vocabulary or intelligence.
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