Dear Diary: Reminiscing My Not So Pleasant Vacation

Let me see... The last time I had a vacation is when me and my fellow patients and staff went to the beach and that was Aaaaaaaaages ago, maybe about ten years ago and from there I haven't been in any places except at the time when my brother and I ate some buffet food in the restaurant next to our town which is not a vacation.

I think it was my second time I had gone to the beach so it was quite fun. I could not go to the other activities there because of my condition considering that I still look normal during those days but very thin already.

But it wasn't so pleasant because I have an appetite problem at that point so I haven't been able to enjoy my food which is a sizzling pork ear that should have some meat and liver in it but it was just pure fat and when you fork it out the whole thing comes up sticking together dripping with fat. Basically it was just like you fried a pork ear and chopped it up and served it in a hot plate that didn't do anything but rendered the fat from the ear.

Then I thought that the senior staff member would share their food so I asked to get some, I courteously asked to have some of her barbecue but not with a bit of embarrassing comments I got. From then on I just kept things to myself and avoided being and trying to get close to that senior staff.

Then there was this situation where I am in the water near the beach and the waves was quite high that day. As I was trying to hold on to the ropes so that I won't get toppled down and carried by the big waves. Little that I knew that I was being observed by that senior staff member and one of my fellow patients and told me that they pity me at that moment.

So I was embarrassed and from then on after I really just shy away from social activities until physically I could never do anything like going to these vacations as now it is just impossible because I could not even walk or get up that easily from my bed.