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I feel that too, the fear, the instability and the magic and mysterious of a language above my head or reasoned logic, but that bubbles up when I trust--a code written. I was afraid to post this, my heart racing, but HEAR we are.
Just stumbled upon this blog post and thought you'd like to read: https://www.emmeyasoleil.com/post/the-journey-of-the-soul

TY. I like you work better. It has more space for trust. It is amazing what it can do.