I'm forced to consume Pauper's meal because food's toxin by-products makes me feel ill
I kind of just eating to stay alive now because I am in no way enjoying my food. Don't get me wrong, with a normal appetite this meal is tasty, that is if you are used to eating viands with rice. I would always eat my meals with anemic or weakened coffee but in this case yesterday after I had gone back home from dialysis, the left-over coffee which I scrimped in drinking at the dialysis center is what I had for lunch and mother just reheated it for me in the microwave. The reason that I need coffee is I sip on it jut to help me swallow my food plus of course I liked the taste of brewed coffee even if it is not as strong as I would like because I am trying to avoid its effects on my sleep.
The dialysis intensity or quality that I am getting is not is not like before which is why my blood is not getting the best clearance from toxins like the nitrogen, urea, and creatinine. The effect is that I am not feeling hungry anymore unlike in the former years. If I will eat normal amounts of food I will be in trouble for not feeling well like feeling nauseated all the time which I have a level of everyday.
It is the reason I drool a lot when I sleep so I have to make use of separate small towel to prevent drooling all over my pillow and I do hate this feeling because it should not be the case for the reason that I go for a thrice-weekly dialysis session. So I feel cheated and I feel ill and that is all the time.
To prevent myself feeling much ill, I have to eat like a cockroach in terms of relative amounts of food I would consume. In the photos above, I only have a little amount of viand served but I only consumed almost half of the fried fish. But I try to consume more calories like this big bowl of rice because I do not want to lose weight.
Now with a self-imposed stricter protein consumption, I have to compensate by using Ketoanalogues tablet. Ketoanalogues are easy to absorb amino acid and if you take them, it is like eaqual to consuming protein but without the toxic by-products build-up to the blood.
However I am just limiting the use of Ketoanalogues because a box containing 100 tablets is 800 Pesos and it is not cheap although I know that the body only useswhat it needs and the rest will just get wasted, I still feel that I am not using enough Ketoanalogues because I am not really taking the recommended daily intake of it in my everyday meals.
The thing is that I have to control the frequency of my meals and I end-up in having two meals in a day. The reason is that if I would eat more than three regardless that I feel hungry or not, I will consume more liquids or fluids. I must not exceed the limit of what my dialysis center had imposed otherwise they will not agree in removing all of it. It means that I have to consume less than one and a third Liters of water or fluid/beverages between after my dialysis treatment on Monday for example up to Wednesday morning prior to my dialysis so that I will avoid backlog and build-up of fluids.
Right now I am quite waterlogged because I already know that I am far away from my dry weight already and I need to lower my weight again which is why I am trying to restrict my fluid consumption even further in order for me to regain more allowance in-between my dialysis sessions so that I can lessen the torment of being always waterlogged and minimize or avoid the complications associated with fluid overload.
It is not a good thing to stay alive in this condition but I chose to move on with this kind of life because I still value my life and I also have crazy goals in trying to achieve. I still want to at least give a token of appreciation to my parents and I still want to do more in my uninteresting life. I pray to God to help me achieve a much better well-being and that is to feel close to normalcy as near as possible and that will be a great gift again for me, I hope that God wills it for me.
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ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴍᴀɢᴇs ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴡɴᴇᴅ ʙʏ @cryptopie 𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥
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Perhaps you should spread your meals about the day. Not rice + fish but rice or fish. Divide the total of what you drink over your meals.
Some fruit can be another meal ( no need to drink).
I understand it's hard to eat/swallow if you cannot flush it away. Is it easier if you take a few sips first and next eat or the texture of the food is different?
How about smashed mango through the rice? It will taste a bit like our rice pie.
🍀♥️
My distaste of food which was the problem and not the taste of it plus I don't want to eat frequently for the same reason. If only I get a better dialysis then my appetite will improve and it doesn't matter if the food tastes delicious or not because I will be able to eat and enjoy it if only I am again, getting adequate or more than adequate dialysis sessions.
I am not so sure if tastes increase if the food tastes terrible. I can assure it takes my appetite away.
It has become my wish upon the stars to achieve a normal appetite again. It can actually happen again if only I can have a better dialysis session like what HDF does because it cleans the blood very well but I can't have it, for now but maybe in the future if God wills it.
Upvoted! Thank you for supporting witness @jswit.