It's so cold at the dialysis clinic that I have to use two socks, one thick stockings, and two blankets

cryptopie (82)Memberin WORLD OF XPILAR • 13 days ago

I am keeping myself still and not moving much during my dialysis treatments because I do not want to let what warm air had build-up under my blankets. My two blankets are folded so that they will form a tick layer over my almost fatless body with no effective natural insulation except the warmth coming from my thick circulating blood.

I wear one thick fleece stocking over my two socks and at least they protect me from freezing my legs especially my feet which gets cold fast like a soda can placed inside the freezer. I also have a pair of smaller thick stockings and I wear one with my right arm while the other I wear as a hat to protect my face and head to the cold temperature inside the treatment area while I try to sleep but to no avail, the nurses and the machines makes enough noises to keep me awake all throughout my four-hour treatment.

There is no one to talk to inside the dialysis center because for one thing I really wanted to get out as soon as I got in because me and my nurses are in the different league in life and we can never hang-out together for some reason or another. I am actually sick and tired of going to dialysis, it is just I am afraid of dying slowly so I go and go and fight for my life.

As for talking to other patients, we only have so little time. Some I know are quite talkative in a pleasant way, a type of person which is great to hang-out with because you will engage at some point and have a nice time chit-chatting because he doesn't run-out of something to say, which I like for a companion or friend because I am a quiet and a shy type of person, not because of my personality because of my physicality which affects my thoughts and feelings and my mental well-being. That is why if I had not been sick and weak, I might be a very outgoing person because my illness had made me feel inferior and shy, not to mention the anxiety disorder which is still part of my life.

Anyway, I like it cold than hot when being treated with dialysis because if it is cold, there is a solution, just bring blankets and socks but if it is hot, there is no amount of fanning will make me feel better inside a room full of hot machines and many people producing more heat and odor.

My other problem at the dialysis center was boredom because even if I want to use my Smartphone to watch some videos or read, the cold temperature freezes my hands. So I end-up just trying to keep quiet and try to pass the time if I would momentarily get into slumber which seldom occurs. I also have to eat a piece of sandwich an hour after getting hooked-up so that my blood pressure would not go down. So after eating I can't my heart would beat hard enough to make me feel aware of it and it adds stress. So I don't know, it is just pointless to live with such life troubles and I hope that God will give me more strength because it gets harder to fight as precious time goes by.