August 6th: Remembering my Dad

Today, August 6th, would have been my father's birthday... if he were still alive.

As it were, he passed away shortly after my 18th birthday, of a sudden and undiagnosed brain aneurism. One day he was here... the next he was suddenly gone. No warning; no illness; no symptoms.

Evening mood at Flathead Lake, Montana

In a sense, perhaps it was OK for him to pass at a relatively young age because I don't believe he would have taken well to being old. Some people are good with getting old while others fight it every inch of the way.

I suppose what I am most regretful about is the fact that I never got to know him as an adult.

At the time of his death, I was still living with my mom and stepdad in the south of Spain, but getting ready to move out and into a place of my own. My dad was living nearby with his girlfriend of six years... they were happy, planning their life together, far from family influences in Denmark.

I find that — as the years roll by — I remember him less and less clearly.

We'd usually have a modest birthday celebration at my auntie's summerhouse... which involved the annual treat of going to get fresh lobsters from the local fisheries... a "luxury" food we only had this one time every year.

My dad was never big into people and celebrations, but this was the one exception. I guess I have grown up to feel much like him... and for me, the joy of birthdays is mostly about the food we get to eat... and not necessarily just the cake.

Part of my dad's birthday was typically an afternoon spent in the local forest, foraging for chanterelle mushrooms... something I remember us doing as far back as when I was just 5-6 years old... and this tradition is likely what fueled my lifelong love of foraging for all sorts of things.

Field mushrooms in the garden

Perhaps what was most memorable about these birthdays was the fact that it was pretty much the only time I saw my dad truly relax, almost like he had some kind of knowing that on this one day of the year he didn't need to be "on."

Although we were quite different personalities, one thing I shared in common with my dad was that neither of us really wanted to work in the mainstream of life.

He was CEO of a bottle cap manyfacturing plant, but what he really wanted to do with his life was to buy, restore and resell antique furniture.

He often talked about that being what he wanted to do after retiring... but, alas, it was not to be.

In retrospect, perhaps the greatest lifelesson my dad left me with was teaching me the importance of thinking for yourself, rather than being swept along with "groupthink" and popular opinion.

To the best of my knowledge, he never "belonged" to any groups, movements or societies... he just forged his own path.

All these years later, I continue to try to do the same thing!

Happy Birthday Dad, wherever you might be!

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great remainder of your week!

How about YOU? Are your parents still alive? If not, what are some of the most specific things you remember? And if your parents ARE alive, what do you think you will remember most? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 2025.08.06 22:23 PDT
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