On "Being Good Enough"

I grew up in a family where mental health wasn't really a "thing." Your physical health was important and something to be minded, but things like emotions and feelings were best avoided.

As a deeply feeling kid — and subsequently adult — I felt like rather a misfit in that world, at least where my family was concerned. I quickly learned that the only safe thing was to pretend not to feel anything... or run the risk of being told that I was "being silly" and that what I was experiencing was "complete nonsense."

Which was basically the terminology applied to anything that deviated from the core family value system... which really bore no questioning, at all.

Of course, burying your feelings at all times isn't exactly a model of good mental health, and I soon enough experienced my share of "issues" including a lot of pretty dark thoughts.

On top of that came a growing sensation that I simply "not enough," and that was pretty much the sense of self I had when I left home, at age 18.

It was a challenging start to adulthood. To be fair, I had very little foundation for being a functional adult in the world... even though I was far in advance of my peers on such things as banking, finance, legal matters and international affairs. In short, I could hold my own in conversation with 50-year olds, but not with 21-year olds.

In retrospect, much of my family's irritation with me had to do with my being "slow."

Not in the intelligence sense of the word, but in the time it took me to figure things out. My brain just moves slowly, while I am typically smarter than most people, at the same time... especially when it comes to problem solving.

To put it more tangibly: it takes me longer than most to learn somthing... but once I have figured it out, I tend to become more skilled at it than almost everyone else. Go figure!

Needless to say, this particular brand of slowness was not tolerated for most job situations, and was actually a primary reason for my becoming self-employed after a relatively short time in the mainstream workforce. I had to find something I could do that didn’t require "quick thinking" but did call for more mental acuity than most people possess.

As such, being an editor and proofreader fit the bill really well, and it served me well for a long time, although much of the profession is being taken over by AI. Hopefully there will still be enough gigs available for me to make it through my retirement years!

Time will tell.

Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful weekend!

How about YOU? Have you ever felt pressured because people said you weren't good enough? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 2025.08.02 01:51 PDT
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