Holding Space for Change

Have you ever noticed how people don’t always want you to grow? It’s strange. You’d think change would be something worth celebrating… the effort it takes, the courage behind it, not to mention the humility that often fuels it. But so often, people cling to the version of you that fits neatly into their narrative. Especially if that version was messy, or de-railed. A version of “you” that made “them” feel a bit more “together” by comparison.

"A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." - James Joyce

Growth doesn’t flatter everyone… and you know what?! That is not your problem. Time and inevitability always brings about a point where you realise that the hardest part of personal evolution is not actually the work it takes, it is how much you have to leave behind in the process. Patterns. Habits. People. Versions of yourself that used to be necessary, even if they were flawed.

And yes, you have made mistakes. We all have. Real ones, with consequences. I am not talking about Instagram captions where people call themselves “imperfect” for relatability points… I am talking about actual errors in judgment… however that may have unfolded for you in your personal space… be it words that hit too hard or decisions you had to outgrow or regret. But that’s human. That is the price of participation. Welcome to life, let me show you to your seat, so you can watch the show. Participation optional.

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." - Khalil Gibran

It is curious really… how some people find a certain level of pleasure in hanging your past over your head like you are not allowed to let go of it. I say… Let them. That doesn’t mean you have to stand under the cloud of their words nor their condemnation.

Because at some point, the conversation stops being about growth, and starts being about integrity. That thing which shapes the choices no one sees. Private decisions. Unseen pivots. The stuff which shifts your centre of gravity slowly, over time.

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it." - Brene Brown

You do not have to prove your personal growth to anyone. But you do have to keep choosing who you want to be, especially when it’s inconvenient, unacknowledged, or misunderstood. That is the real work, and it’s not owed an audience.

Shedding of old skin, no announcement, no big reveal, just the slow rearranging of what was once necessary but no longer serves. Disappearance that feels more like arrival, a folding inwards that somehow stretches wider than it did before. Not a story to tell, but a space to hold.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver