Just one of those Saturdays...

Today has been one of those days in which I thought about, thinking about writing. I probably made my way through this cycle of thought, think and “possibly do” about a hundred times – not unlike a dog chasing its tail really.

I have not been feeling all that great today. Clearly, I ate something yesterday which did not agree with me (I’m going with the takeaway pie) or I caught one of those infamous 24hr tummy bugs, which I hear have been doing the rounds locally of late. Either way – it was early to bed last night and not a whole lot happening today simply because I lacked energy of any kind.

Interesting how, when you are somewhat hindered in your usual routine or the things you had intended for the day, you can end up literally swaying your one (or the other) foot side to side furiously and impatiently whilst simultaneously revelling in the moment for which your body has made the decision that you WILL do less for the time being.

Forced into submission, I spent a good part of the day lying on the bed. I quite enjoy lying on my bed during the day actually (be it working)… not in a dark dungeon or cave manner, but rather with the sun filtering in, listening to the willows whispering – today it created a truly lazy and still Saturday afternoon - One which afforded plenty contemplation and a few moments to be simply still.

Stillness is a curious thing really, because it is anything but that. The pivotal difference between that and the regular “hustle bustle” of everyday living is that the things upon which your focus falls differ greatly. Unlike the organised agenda of routine, there is an enticement in the allowing of things to wander. Escaping the fact of reality and simply getting caught up in a moment of the plainest things can be all encompassing, for the simple reason that for a change you have absolutely no idea where the road leads – albeit nowhere.

Sometimes, nowhere is precisely where you want (and perhaps need) to be - A space “in between” all of the noise. I have discovered more often than not in my life that the moments of “nowhere” almost ALWAYS leads to a very GRAND somewhere – be it inwardly or outwardly, so for that very simple (to me anyway) reason – I have learnt to hold those moments close to my heart… wander they shall, and today they did.

Amidst the hum of stillness there was a little bit of chitter chatter. Conversation of the finest kind, because much like my pressed submission into stillness, it had no plan. Off the cuff if you will, or perhaps shot from the hip if you prefer. Whatever your preference of perspective, it was delightful -A momentary excursion into mind and moment outside my own. These are the flickering facets I value the most in life because it is only when we sit down, take off our own shoes – sit them next to that of another and then analyse them together with appreciation and giggle that we are able to see the often overwhelming woods from the no need for attention trees. (This being an analogy and in no way demonstrating disrespect to actual trees, lol)

When you step into a rhetorical boat with another and allow the boat with holes to naturally glide away from the shore, you suddenly discover that perhaps you were not as alone as you thought you were in all your self-doubts, criticism and lack of self-love in general. The pressure of the water which pushes through those holes in the boat suddenly become common ground. This experience is a little bit surreal in many respects because as firmly as you can reassure another, you suddenly realise your own inability to reassure yourself, yet the offering to another of what you clearly lack in your own capacity is of far more value offered to the other – not only because it benefits them, but because it forces reverse reflection and in turn opens the gateway to your own reality check.

It needn’t be anything grand, because life’s “grandness” – truth be told, is made up of the detail. The little moments - Perhaps a stranger smiled at you and you simply could not resist one in return, for whatever reason. These are the moments which stick forever for the simple reason that they penetrate our core.