The Tilt Towards Light

Glass half full, make lemonade from lemons, you can see the roses or the thorns… we have all heard the optimistic one liners until they begin to sound like radio jingles on repeat. They are fine as slogans, but there is a deeper sort of optimism that only grows once you’ve properly lived on the flip side of the coin. That’s my view anyway, and not exactly rocket science. If you have stood on the raw edge of something, you will better understand what it means to stand in the light afterwards.

From my own life, the people who glow with kindness, joy and generosity are often the ones who have had the hardest rides. The ones who have been smashed around by circumstance and still get up and choose to be gentle. I am convinced that hardship, interestingly, is very often the soil where empathy roots itself. Those individuals don’t pretend the hurt never happened. They have felt it, carried it, and they have made a deliberate choice to live differently. That choice is the point.

Which brings me to the point that everything is a choice. I know some people will argue otherwise, but the way I see it, life is stitched together like by moments, and within each and every moment you have the choice to steer it. You can sit with the bitterness and hold on to it or you can do whatever is needed to tilt the next moment a fraction toward a more positive direction… and those little “tilts” are generally exactly that - little. Tiny, ordinary decisions that eventually add up. The decision to answer the call you want to ignore, to hold back an unkind word, to put on a bright shirt when you really don’t feel like it. Before long, those small tilts become a pattern.

That pattern is what we call character. It is the shaping of the person who, after everything, still makes the effort to be kind… to be a better human. It is the neighbour who gives a cup of sugar even when they themselves are down to their last spoonful. It is the friend who laughs despite being tired, because they know laughter loosens the chest and opens something up again. I love that about people, our ability to choose “better” even when the world pushes us to harden.

And humour, please don’t underestimate it. A good laugh in the middle of a mess is like striking a match in a dark room. No, it does not light the entire room or fix everything, but it makes the next minute easier to see and breathe through. South Africans are blessed with a particular knack for this: we can joke about loadshedding, queueing and potholes in our roads big enough to be called jacuzzi’s, and somehow the world feels slightly less heavy when we take that approach. That doesn’t mean we are not serious, it just means we know how to keep moving forward.

Optimism born from experience isn’t about glossing over pain, or sweeping it under the rug, it acknowledges the bruise, listens to it, and then decides to tend the wound. Imagine standing in rubble and planting something anyway… you are not denying the rubble, just simply deciding to make space for life. That’s the “tilt”. Notice three small things that were okay in your day, even tiny ones. They count!! Offer one small kindness that costs you little but matters to someone. Laugh at one absurdity, even if the morning started badly. Allow your sadness to sit beside your gratitude; they can share the same chair.

These are micro choices which ripple. Often you will never see the full effect… that is exactly how it’s meant to be. Small, steady decisions you make every day which unfold little by little and ultimately become a revolution. I am not saying that it is always easy. Some days making that choice will feel heavy, but other days it will come naturally, feel right and make everything better in that moment… kind of like putting on slippers at the end of a long day, lol. Either way, you don’t need to be permanently bright. You only need to be willing to try again tomorrow. That willingness is where the good life quietly grows.

Be kind to the parts of you that have been bruised, and be curious about the light that still wants to come through. Not because it erases the past, but because it lets the future be kinder.

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” — C.S. Lewis