RE: Love isn’t always shit free. The complications of dating with an ostomy!
This is such a sweet story, you two are definitely a fantastic couple! Good on your sister for catching that he was worth it, lol ;)
This hits close to home for us too, as my husband also has UC. Very early in our relationship, I went to Germany for a semester to study and he stayed in Toronto - where he was just getting sicker and sicker. At the time we didn't know what was going on, he had always had bouts of pain and bleeding but defaulted to thinking he was just really susceptible to flu or that he ate something that didn't agree with him.
When I got back, he had lost so much weight, and was just a mess. He was terrified to do almost anything. Finally it got to a point where he had lost so much weight and was in so much pain, that I was convinced that he would be dead within a month... and after a bit of back and forth with the hospital to actually get him admitted (that's a story for a different day) they finally took him in and did some testing. A week later they diagnosed him with Ulcerative Colitis, and finally everything made sense!
He refused to have the operation, but after another month of arguing with the doctors they finally offered him a non-surgical treatment which thankfully worked out. But that almost two months of me thinking he was going to die in the hospital was the biggest test of our relationship. We learned more about each other at that point than I think we ever would have in a "normal" situation, and it's definitely made us stronger as a couple.
It's been a long road towards remission and finding equilibrium for him (and us) , but we've stuck together and worked through it as a team and 10 years later we're still strong.
Sorry for the novel - your story just really brought up a lot of memories in my own marriage :3
Happy Valentines day to you both and I hope you get word of the adoption soon! That kid will be so lucky to have parents who are clearly an awesome team :D
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I know that one well. I was well and then within a year 35 kg lighter and had a perforated bowel. I'm so glad they found a solution that worked for your hubby.
I know that the surgery option is not something we want but do tell you hubby that if it ever gets to that point. The products are amazing. The accessories people have made to help ostomates is amazing and a life is a life. I'm sure if push come to shove he would realise that living with you with a bag is better than dead and you having to live without him xx
oh yeah, I think we both know that there will likely be some point where he'll need to go the surgery route. He's been very lucky in that he's managed to "manage" (for lack of a better word) it down to a nice remission for about 3 years now - but it took a long time to get to a place where he felt even close to normal (and still struggles sometimes).
But yeah, even in the last 5 years the technology has really grown by leaps and bounds! It's all only going to get better and easier and new studies keep popping up :D